Funny Junk

Can you sing? Not a thing.
Can you dance? Not a chance.
Can you play? Me, no way.
Can you eat and drink? All day!

Submitted by Aman Kapoor (Jatt Boy)

Cat About to Smile…

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

Q: Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A: They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time!

Husband to wife: Why do you keep reading our marriage licence?
Wife to Husband: I’m looking for a loophole
The definition of a perfect Wife? – one who helps the husband with the dishes…

The poor guy walks up to the rich guy’s house. He’s down on his luck and needs some money. He rings the doorbell. “Hi there, I’m down on my luck, need some money, and I was wondering if you have any work I could do for you?”
The rich Guy decides to give him a break, and says: “Sure, my porch needs painting. I’ll pay you 50 dollars to do it for me.” “Sure thing, Mister, I’ll get started right away!” Time passes, until… “Hey Mister, I’m all done painting!” “Well, here’s your 50 dollars” “Thanks, and by the way, it’s a Ferrari, not a Porsche.”

An old farmer died and left 17 cows to his three sons. In his will, the farmer stated that his oldest son should get 1/2, his middle son should get 1/3, and his youngest son should get 1/9 of all the cows. The sons, who did not want to end up with half cows, sat for days trying to figure out how many cows each of them should get. One day, their neighbour came by to see how they were doing after their father’s death. The three sons told him their problem. After thinking for a while, the neighbour said: “I’ll be right back!” He went away, and when he came back, the three sons could divide the cows according to their father’s will, and in such a way that each of them got a whole number of cows.

What was the neighbour’s solution?
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