Funny Junk

Santa goes to Gulabo’s home and knocks the door
Gulabo- “kon…?”
Santa – “Main…!”
Gulabo-”Main kon..?”
Santa-”Leh dass!  tu gulabo hor kon?”

During an English lesson,the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.
Teacher- Pappu,join these two sentences together.I was cycling to school.I saw a dead body.
Pappu-(thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.

After making a trip of South India, Santa Singh, his wife and his son were returning to Punjab in Tamilnadu Express.

Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed.

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A woman was in the hospital after feeling very ill.
The doctor says to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.”
“Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighs, “what am I going do?”
The doctor replies, “Marry an insurance agent.”
“Will I live longer?” asks the woman. ”
No,” replies the doctor, “but it will SEEM longer.”

The poor guy walks up to the rich guy’s house. He’s down on his luck and needs some money. He rings the doorbell. “Hi there, I’m down on my luck, need some money, and I was wondering if you have any work I could do for you?”
The rich Guy decides to give him a break, and says: “Sure, my porch needs painting. I’ll pay you 50 dollars to do it for me.” “Sure thing, Mister, I’ll get started right away!” Time passes, until… “Hey Mister, I’m all done painting!” “Well, here’s your 50 dollars” “Thanks, and by the way, it’s a Ferrari, not a Porsche.”

Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

If you can’t fix it — document it.

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.