Funny Junk


Random Funny Facts

Funny Facts

If you unfolded your brain, it would cover an ironing board.

If you counted 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion!

Male monkeys lose the hair on their heads in the same way men do.

Milk is heavier than cream.

Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, blondes to brunettes.

No matter its size or thickness, no piece of paper can be folded in half more than 8 times.

One 75-watt bulb gives more light than three 25-watt bulbs.
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Funny Facts

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the “1″ encased in the “shield” and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON’T try this @ home!)

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Computer Lab Pranks

Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream “Oh my God! They’ve found me!” and bolt.

Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can’t get the darn thing to work. After he/she’s turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it’s set up with.

Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

Stare at the screen of the person next to you, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say “You did that?” loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer’s Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

Test Snakes Gender

Test Snakes Gender
Just check out this image above to test whether the snake is male or female.

Why Men Wear Ear Rings?

I have often wondered how this trend got started, I now have the answer.

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”

The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”

“Don’t make such a big deal, it’s only an earring, “he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”

“Ever since my wife found it in my car.”

Funny Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”

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